Another Downton Abbey Christmas Special - The Gift of the Magi
by Rap541
Summary: Subtitled: Vampire Babies, Dinosaurs, and Christmas, Oh My! This is written for a good pal who always wanted me to write Matthew and Mary with vampire children a la Twilight. So here we are, with Vampire Lord Matthew and Lady Mary desperately trying to find each other the right Christmas gift in a somewhat fantastical version of Downton Abbey


A Downton Christmas Special – The Gift of the Magi

*subtitled: Dinosaurs, Hellmouth Portals, and Vampire Babies, Oh MY!

"So here we are, another Christmas, and I still have no idea what to get Mary," Matthew muttered to Tom as they rode through the abbey's forested lands. "She's quite impossible to shop for."

"You were going to shop?" Tom marveled with amusement. "Lord Grantham, and Lord of the Vampires is going to go to a shop?" He patted the horse he was riding. "Will you ride your velociraptor into the village or shall I prepare the Renault?"

Matthew patted the velociraptor. "Come now, Tom, you know that only I can control Miss Fancy. I can't leave her tied to a post while I shop. But you draw attention to my problem. It was delightfully thoughtful of Mary to buy me one of the trained velociraptors since I can't ride warm blooded creatures without startling them so. I want to get her something as thoughtful. I mean, she's taken on so much since her father died."

"Sometimes," Tom intoned wisely, "you make too much of a fuss over such things. Sybil likes whatever I bring her. Because she loves me and loves it when I bring her gifts."

"Sybil can't leave the grounds because she died and per the rules established in American Horror Story: Murder House, she's stuck there." Matthew stopped. "That's an odd tidbit of information for me to know, isn't it?"

"Probably a side affect of all the supernatural rifts and such," Tom offered. "But really, you worry too much. Mary will love what you give her because she loves you."

Matthew shook his head. "Oh, I know that, Tom. I just… want it to be special, and thoughtful. I want to show her that even with all the upheaval, the new babies that share my tendencies towards blood drinking, turning all the empty rooms in the Abbey into a homosexual bordello, I still put her first. At the same time, money is tight right now, which makes it all the more difficult." He shrugged. "The redecorating will pay for itself, I accept that, but Barrow's decorating choices were expensive…" He stared at the horse Tom was riding and then snapped his fingers. "Oh, that's brilliant!"

"What's brilliant?" Tom asked, his tone genial.

Matthew pointed to the horse Tom was on. "Mary loves to ride. She especially loves to ride Diamond when she is out hunting animals for the children. She was complaining the other day that her saddle was becoming worn, and was admiring a fancy hunting saddle in that Sears catalog." Then his face fell. "But it's very expensive…" He snapped his fingers again. "I know what to do! I could sell Miss Fancy here to Henry Talbot. He was admiring her, and would pay top dollar and since he's not a vampire like me, he likely won't be able to control her so I will just buy her back from him after he realizes what a fool he is." Matthew swatted the dinosaur as it snapped at Tom. "No, Fancy, we discussed this. Tom is not food."

"But you love Miss Fancy," Tom countered. "You were just saying how relaxing you find it to be able to trot about the landscape and how the only thing you lacked was an impressive riding switch to show off to the villagers."

"She is my weakness," Matthew agreed, laughing, "aside from Mary and the children of course, but it would make Mary so happy…"

"The children are done, of course," Mary said breezily as she sat down next to Sybil. "Cousin Isobel has connections to the nicer workhouses so Frederick and young Robert will have the pleasure of chasing down human prey on Christmas day. George will have a new pony and baby Charlotte is too little for the hunt so she'll make do with some new pinafores and bonnets. But Matthew remains a problem."

"Why," Sybil asked brightly. "Get him a new book or a lovely photograph of the children… oh wait, they don't photograph, do they?"

"George can, because he was born before Matthew turned but Frederick, Robert and Charlotte will need to hire portraitists." Mary brushed her hair at the vanity while Sybil watched. "Its so odd, the children and Matthew can't see their reflection, but you're a ghost and you reflect quite well. So does Papa. I swear, did he tell you his plan to move to the gamekeeper's cottage and breed Labradors since its all on the property? Mama is horrified."

Sybil shook her head. "He did die, Mary. Now that he doesn't have to be Earl, perhaps you and Mama should let him have his fun. And Matthew will like anything you get him, you know that. He's very sweet for a vampire."

Mary found herself getting exasperated. "I know and that's what's so frustrating. I want… I want his eyes to light up when he opens it, so that he knows how much I adore him. Like when I got him Miss Fancy, his riding dinosaur. But I also want to be careful with money. I mean, I do believe Matthew and Tom when they say the homosexual bordello will pay off in dividends, and I quite like having all the young fellows around. They're so witty and cultured, and Barrow is so pleasant now that he has some little friends… But Matthew won't thank me for spending money that isn't there."

"Of course," Sybil noted, an edge entering her pleasant voice, "you could make him a gift, which I am sure he would find lovely…"

"I'm not making Matthew a gift. You know I'm not crafty at all." She went to the window and looked out. "Look, he's riding Miss Fancy right now. Perhaps I should get him some new riding clothes or…." She snapped her fingers and turned to Sybil, her expression suddenly ecstatic. "I know what to get him! He's so disdainful of all the upperclass pretensions except that I know he quite likes the idea of carrying about a fancy riding crop. In theory, to keep Miss Fancy in check when riding, but really, to show off how he's a lord. That and the whole cape and top hat business but a lovely silver riding crop would make him look quite dashing and I know he wants one. He was going to buy one but then Barrow said we really needed the tiled mosaic in the steam room… You don't think Matthew spends too much time in the steam room, do you? I like him nicely warmed up for the sex and all…"

Sybil rolled her eyes. "I'm more concerned about all the time Tom spends in the steam room, but let's be practical for a moment. A fancy silver riding crop costs money and Matthew does watch the books carefully."

Mary nodded. They didn't want for anything but casual purchases of finery pushed the budget. Finally, she made the decision. "I will sell Diamond. My saddle is getting worn out and Diamond is skittish with our new hunts. Perhaps it's for the best… the little ones will want their own riding dinosaurs soon enough. That reminds me, I need to order some more livestock. Little Robert is having some sort of growth spurt and is eating like a horse. He drank the blood out of an entire goat today!"

Christmas Day

It was a gleeful morning at Downton Abbey. Barrow and his herd of footmen looked resplendent in their gay finery. The children were excited for their toys and fun, but it was Mary and Matthew who looked the most excited.

"Oh Matthew," Mary smiled brilliantly, "let's open our presents at the same time!" She eyed the large box he was holding for her.

"Of course, my darling," Matthew said easily. They both ripped off the wrapping paper from their gifts in front of the waiting family.

Matthew's eyes sparkled as he beheld the shiny silver riding crop. "Oh Mary, this is so perfect!"

Mary laughed with glee at the lovely new saddle. "This will look so stunning on Diamond!" Then her face fell. "But… I sold Diamond so I could get you your special riding crop for Miss Fancy…"

Matthew's expression fell as well. "And I sold Miss Fancy so that I could get you your special saddle! Oh Mary, aren't we a silly pair?" He embraced her.

"We are," she agreed, "And I love you so much!" She kissed him on the lips. "But we've managed to get each other useless gifts, it seems."

Sybil and Tom both grinned. "Not exactly useless, " Sybil said, laughing. "Mary, when I told Edith you were going to sell Diamond, she insisted on buying him from the new owner and sending him back to our stable. She said, and I quote ' she'll be a completely miserable bitch for Christmas if she doesn't have that horse'. So you can still use your saddle."

"And," Tom snickered, "Matthew, you had to know that Miss Fancy was never going to accept a human rider… I found Miss Fancy back in her stall this morning nibbling on Henry Talbot's torso."

Matthew grinned. "I admit, that was my little Christmas gift to me. Oh I don't like that man, daring to think he could ride my dinosaur!"

Barrow held out a tray of champagne glasses. "Why don't we all have a drink and the NYC Gay Chorus will sing Christmas songs. Then we'll all party in the steam room."

"Should we really be this open about the gay chorus and steam room?" Matthew asked. "I mean, it seems a bit anachronistic and all. Like an episode of Doctor Who with David Tennant and the nice lady who played Sarah Jane…"

"Are you even listening to yourself, sir?" Barrow asked pleasantly. "I mean, you have a riding dinosaur and multiple vampire children and I am running a homosexual bordello in the Abbey."

"It *is* like an episode of American Horror Story: Hotel," Mary agreed. "Except no Lady Gaga, thank god."

"And," Matthew said brightly, "they didn't have riding dinosaurs as I recall, so we win! Merry Christmas!"


End file.
